The Practice of Loving Togetherness

On 23 Aug., 2020

The aim of this article is to show you a  practice for couples and singles that will help you to understand how to manifest this practice in your life

The Practice of Loving Togetherness


The aim of this article is to show you a  practice for couples and singles that will help you to understand how to manifest this practice in your life.  Future articles will include examples from life that will help you understand how to manifest this practice in your life , altered of course, to protect the confidentiality of my clients.

My experiences in life, including my therapy practice, has always served to expand my awareness personally and as a helping professional.  What I have noticed about couples is true about life in general.  All organisms try to heal themselves; they try to achieve balance and harmony.  At the cellular level, cells which are attacked by hostile, intruding forms, attack back with special defense mechanisms.  White blood cells attack foreign, invading biology in an attempt to heal the organism.  Are the cell's defenses stronger as a result?   It is true of couples, families, villages, and universes.  I view each and every encounter in my day as an opportunity for healing and self-growth.  Early on in my career as a psychotherapist I noticed that each new client had something to teach me, something of their humanity reflected in my own and through our contact both of us could grow and develop.  I do not believe that any meetings are random.  They all can teach us something if we simply remain in conscious awareness or tune ourselves to be able to receive the self-growth and healing.  If the world is as one then all of existence is here to serve you, to help you grow and harmonize with the whole in a loving state.  This quote from Byron Katie expresses it well:  "Life is simple.  Everything happens for you, not to you.  Everything happens at exactly the right moment, neither too soon nor too late.  You don't have to like it . . . it's just easier if you do."

In the same way, your life partner is here for you and not against you, even if they behave in the worst way.  There is something to gain through each and every exchange.  First you must begin with yourself, you must dedicate yourself to your own self-growth spiritual, mental, as well as physically manifesting wellness in the body.  Then if God or existence or fate or whatever you want to call it sends you a lover, well, you might just find that you can support one another in this.  Self-growth becomes your goal as a couple and it includes all that is wonderful and loving about your connection as well as all the heavy packages that we carry from our childhood conditionings.  You can awaken from these with the reflection of your partner.  And so, this is the only motivation for the connection.  This consciousness will infuse your sexuality, your diet, your communication with the world, and, of course, it will connect you to yourself, your soul.   It is not an escape from being alone but rather a partnership in development of the soul.  This is who you are beyond your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations.  A pure soul which is both nothing, beyond ego, (what is now referred to as transpersonal), but yet, paradoxically is something, and that is unconditional love and compassion.  When you begin to love in this way, when you are present to love beyond your thoughts and feelings, then you are approaching the divine.  No attachment.  No goals.  No ulterior motives. It is simply love for love's sake.  I wish this for all of you and am happy to help move couples in this direction.  In the meantime, try and meditate on why you chose to be together, how was it when you met, how was it when your kids were born.  Remember one instance when you were there for each other.  Feel the love.

connect to the gratitude within yourself.


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